Adv Dip Couns MNCPS (Accred), Dip Sup, DC Hyp (MNRAH), Lic ASK Counselling, Psychotherapy & Hypnotherapy for individuals and couples
in Farnham on the Surrey & Hampshire Border

Can you imagine, I wonder, how it would feel to be able to talk, without fear of being judged, to someone who will listen and empathise for as long as is necessary until you feel you have control over the problem in hand?

A skilled Counsellor will help you to improve communication, resolve a crisis and deal with negative behavioural patterns by listening and talking in confidence as you work through the problem.

Sometimes when we are feeling low or depressed we need to talk but may not feel that sharing personal thoughts with friends or family is appropriate. Perhaps we do not feel ‘heard’ by our loved ones or maybe they haven’t the time to listen.

My aim is to help you to gain control over the problem in hand by listening and talking with you in confidence as you work through the difficulties you are in. You will be able to learn new communication skills, resolve the crisis in front of you and uncover negative behaviour patterns. Speaking to a counsellor allows you to talk, without fear of being judged, to someone who will listen and empathise for as long as you need to in a safe and relaxing setting.

Some of the many issues I work with:

Many years ago, when we were cavemen, we had to deal with threatening situations which caused us to release hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol which are designed to trigger the flight/fight/fright reaction. Fight gives us a burst of energy as we fight for our lives and flight encourages us to escape from danger in order to protect ourselves. Fright almost paralyses us as we stop in our tracks and 'play dead'.

If we cannot fight or flee then the stress hormones build up, affect our immune system and raise our blood pressure. This, in turn, can lead to anxiety and frustration, outbursts of anger towards others, periods of crying, low self esteem and wanting to hide away and avoid others.

Nowadays, however, we don’t often encounter such extreme situations but, all the same, our brains continue to react in this way when we are under pressure and if we are unable to cope we then feel stressed. After a while, of course, feelings of stress mount up until you find yourself feeling out of control and totally overwhelmed

Common stressful events are:

Everyone reacts differently to the loss of someone dear to them. Some of us experience feelings of anger and intense pain whereas others appear unaffected or unemotional. A Counsellor will listen without interrupting giving you the time to talk, cry or even shout and, in so doing, will help you to sort out your feelings amongst all the chaos. Everyone deals with grief and loss differently – you may have one good day followed by a bad day and there is no telling how long the intense part of the struggle will last.

By talking things through with a Counsellor at your own pace you will be given time and space to express your feelings in an environment where you will feel heard and not have to put on a brave face.

The following lists the stages of grief – initially chaotic but eventually less intense however hard that may be to believe at the time.

• Shock
  
• Anger
  
• Denial
  
• Self-doubt
  
• Apathy/Depression
  
• Acknowledgement and Resolve
  
• Reflection & Taking Stock
  
• Acceptance, New Goals and Integration

The more confidence we have, the more we are likely to achieve our goals and lead a happier more fulfilled life. If we lack self-confidence it not only impacts upon our success at work but also affects our private lives and the wellbeing of our children. We may become negative and self destructive and even blame others for our plight.

Confident people, on the other hand, tend to be more positive and able to believe in themselves and their abilities. They will generally enjoy life, dwell less upon the past and focus more on the future. Confidence is important in every aspect of our lives and yet it can be a struggle to unearth it from deep within our personality.

First of all we look at the reasons for your low confidence and then may decide to proceed by using hypnosis which works by accessing the unconscious mind so that positive changes can be made via the power of suggestion. By telling your mind that you can be confident now, rather than in the future, changes can be seen almost immediately. This will help you to improve your relationships, your success within your career and enable you to achieve goals that you may previously have thought to be out of your reach. In fact, it may well alter the direction of your life to the positive in many ways.

Counselling and Hypnotherapy can help greatly with a number of concerns including Premature Ejaculation, Erectile Dysfunction, Impotence, Orgasmic Dysfunction, Vaginismus and general lack of sexual enjoyment. All of these issues may be triggered by negative childhood messages, sexual trauma, relationship difficulties, performance anxiety or inexperience which can result in a lack of confidence, sense of failure and low self esteem.

Whether you are gay, straight or bi-sexual by talking in a comfortable, safe and confidential environment these problems can often be resolved in just a few sessions.